New Year 2024!

JANUARY 7TH, 2024

Happy New Year! I struggle to understand how and why time seems to go so fast. It seems only yesterday that it was January 2023. I am sure many of us feel this way. I sat this morning thinking over my pastor’s latest sermon on this new year and what it may bring. I thought back over the past years since 2018. Life-changing events happened that year for me. The Lord unexpectedly asked me to step down from all the ministry I was involved in and leave the church I had attended for almost a decade.

I was caught off guard and quite surprised by this. I had always thought that was part of serving Him, an expected thing as part of my faith, almost like it was disrespectful to Him if I wasn’t serving somewhere, somehow. I was very happy at my church, had many friends, and felt at home there. I knew He was the one who had placed me as a women’s Bible study leader and on the prayer team, which I was also leading at the time. But now, quite clearly, He called me to make these changes.

I was at a point in my faith that I wished only to obey, even though I had so many questions! Honestly, the answers came and are still coming, but first, He told me I needed to learn to focus on Him in the chaos of this life. I needed more time reading and learning from His Word and the other spiritual leaders He had placed in my life. And so I obeyed quietly, praying often, seeking His direction only, not any person’s. It was my private time with Him, learning to lean in and trust Him afresh and anew. I gave up feelings of oppression, feelings of inadequacy, feelings of not being good enough in exchange for focusing on being His child, His daughter whom He knew before I was in my mother’s womb, His love for me, His place in my life as Savior and Lord! Psalm 139 came to life for me!

I walked through 2018 focusing on Him, studying His word, and praying continuously. That year, my mom’s health took a turn for the worse, and so, unknowingly at the time, I spent many moments with her that would be the last—my last birthday with her. The final play I was in that she would come to see. The last Christmas Eve service together we would watch my daughter Natalie sing. The only time my granddaughter and I would wash grandma’s feet was because she asked me to, and Jolie wanted to help! The last Christmas morning with her, all my children, their spouses, or soon-to-be spouses, and my only granddaughter, Jolie, gathered to open presents. The last few days of her life I spent with her in ICU, watching as she drew her last human breath but walked home to Jesus on January 2nd, 2019.

And so, a new year began again. This new year, I was sad missing my mom but happy for her that she was free of pain and, instead, dancing with Jesus! My walk with the Lord continued to grow. My focus continued to grow. He gave me many things to think about and even to write about in preparation for the future!

2020 dawned with COVID, a pandemic, and something I had never experienced. For me, it was not as difficult as it was for others. I worked as a court reporter throughout the shutdown, as the court had to continue. I was blessed to help. It was a challenging year that led into 2021, watching the devastation that staying home caused many people mentally, the financial crises it caused, and watching businesses close permanently for lack of being able to find people to work. It was a strange time. My job was more complicated because of the backlog caused by the pandemic’s effect on the judicial system. In late 2020 and all of 2021, I had to lean on the Lord in a new way not to be entirely overwhelmed by my workload. I continued to listen for His still, quiet voice when I felt I could not go on. He pulled me through, bringing a new reliance on Him, reminding me why He wanted me to learn to focus on Him alone in the chaos! He led me to speak at a women’s retreat in 2021 on Psalm 139!!! He encouraged me to keep writing What If?

2022 brought back a bit more normalcy. People adjusted back to working and not being given “free” money. Our overloaded calendars in court decreased, returning to a pre-COVID atmosphere.

That year, the Lord had something new in mind for me! I had the opportunity to join a six-month-long women’s ministry cohort! It was a time blessed in the presence of Godly women. My faith continued to grow. He opened my eyes to the fact that He uses us all as He chooses. He will always make a way, even if it seems daunting. If He calls you to do something, He will equip you! As gracious as He is, He told me it was time to finish What If? and get it published.

I began wrapping up the writing, and in mid-2022, HE PROVIDED THE PUBLISHER!!! I did not know what I was doing or how to do it – but He did! July 2023 What If? became available online and in print!

December 2022 brought a new blessing in my grandson, Seely! 2023 brought two more blessings: grandson Callan and granddaughter Maria, born two months apart!

I sit here today, praising God for His blessings and faithfulness, and call upon my life – to follow Him and share Him with others.

I ask, Lord, You help me do this well, in You and setting aside myself! And help me never to stop reading Your Word, praying, spending time with You, and following Your lead wherever it will take me. Amen!